My life in your hands
by TheMagnaka
Summary: A little story about what can possibly happen
1. Chapter 1

Merlin watched with worry how Arthur just sat in the dark. He looked at how his friend, his king, sank deeper and deeper into the darkness of his mind.

_Can I any longer lie to him?_

_Can I give him the truth?_

_Can I trust him my life?_

_Can I confess my lies to him?_

_To my king?_

_To my friend…_

Merlin looked away. He was so troubled. The enemy was near. All of his loved ones were in death danger.

_Can I confess my folly?_

_When I kneel before him and tell him the truth and I say how sorry I'm, does he trust me anymore?_

_What I can do?_

Merlin took a hesitant step forward. Then second. He knelt upon his knee, his eyes on Arthur.

Arthur looked at him in amazement. Merlin steeled himself.

"Arthur… My King ... I serve you all my life ..."

"Merlin, what ..."

"Just listen only". Merlin shook his head without removing his eyes from him. "I shall follow you wherever you go, whatever you decide. I will give my life into your hands. But now I have to say something and you have to remember that I have sworn an oath to you. Let me tell you a truth. The truth about me. If you turn your back on me, I I understand. "

"Merlin." Arthur laid his hands upon his friend shoulder looking him with terror. "I don't think that anything get me to turn my back to you. You are my most trusted friend. I believe in my life into your hands and you have never betrayed me."

Merlin trembled.

_Oh how furious he would be…_


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur listened.

_You're lying._

He listened, and listened how the words rolled out of Merlin. Rolled over him and made him feel cold.

_Stop it. Stop it! _

His mind screamed. But he couldn't say anything out loud. He couldn't look away from those begging eyes.

_You lie. Say that you're lying. Laugh and say you do not mean it._

_Please, please, I beg you..._

_I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me._

But along what Merlin told the story, Arthur tried to understand. At times he felt horror, at times anger. Sometimes he wondered who or what Merlin was.

_Who are you? _

_How? _

_Why?_

_How I didn't noticed? _

_How idiot are you really?_

_How stupid have I been? _

_Throughout this time... _

_You've stood by my side. You've made me what I am. How could you, how could you ... _

And Arthur's head fell. He closed his eyes. And he listened.

Finally the words ran out. Quietly Merlin's voice faded. Arthur didn't looked him. He was not able to. His hands were pressed in a fist. He trembled.

"Do not hate me." Was a lonely whisper.

Arthur's eyes widened open.

Merlin.

Well-intentioned, Merlin.

His most trusted friend.

The man who had saved his life again and again until Arthur had finally given up and called him a friend. The man who was always there, waiting for him in the darkest hour. Who stood behind him, ready to protect him even though he had never understood it. How could he ever hate him.

But when Arthur opened his mouth to answer, he couldn't say anything.

And Merlin rose, eyes so sad.

"I have sworn to protect you, come what may. Even though it know my death."

_Your death ..._

But still he remained silent, and finally Merlin walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin waited. He waited and waited until he felt that he wouldn't take much longer. Everyone felt how he nervously tried to do something, however, without achieving anything. They knew that something was going on. They had seen how Merlin had spoken to Arthur. They had seen Arthur's reaction.

"Merlin ..." Gwaine started but Merlin shook his head. His eyes begged that Gwaine remain silent. Gwaine glanced at Gwen. And just when Gwen was going to talk, the door opened. Merlin stood in the middle of the room and his gaze met with Arthur. Uneasy silence descended upon the room. Leon rose to leave, but Arthur referring him to stay in place.

"This applies to all."

Everybody stopped.

"Who else know?" Arthur asked, his voice so hard.

"Gaius and Lancelot knew."

_Both death._ Arthur shut his eyes. _So you carry this alone._

"So you give your life in my hands."

"Yes."

_You don't hesitate, don't you Merlin?_ _Are your trust to me so absolutely, or is it that you don't have nothing to lose._

"Tell me what you want me to say."

Merlin stared at him confused. Then he seemed to wake up to sleep. His back lifted. His eyes hardened. All the nervousness faded away from him.

"I want to know are you going to be the king of which is the Kingdom manageable, then I stand beside you until the end. But I'm not going to be just watch how a friend of mine gives up without fight. You are not like that. You're not a giver. You are the king and you have sworn an oath of your people. You are Arthur Pendragon and it is your duty, your life, that belongs to this country and for those who love you. "

Merlin had walked right in front of Arthur. Arthur dimly realized that Merlin was a bit longer than him.

Merlin's gaze was steady, but his voice broke.

"I just want to know that you don't hate me."

_Merlin._

Everything that Merlin actually was, he was also Merlin that Arthur knew.

_Heaven help me to do right choice._

Arthur raised his hand and put them in his friend's shoulders.

"Merlin, I don't pretend that I really understand, I'm not yet able to comprehend everything. I don't really know you completely, you have made it clear. You have done something that violates everything that I have been taught to believe."

Merlin jerked.

"But ... "Arthur's grip tightened. "I've learned so much more. And much of it is because of you. And if what you say is really true, I'm in debt to you of lot more. Merlin, I'll never be able to hate you. I'll give my life into your hands."

Arthur dropped his hands and waited. Merlin's face spread a silly grin which he knew so well.

"So, no death?" Merli asked, his voice back in his normal self.

"Idiot." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Just to be sure."

"So, dare to tell us what a hell is going on?" Gwaine asked.

* * *

><p><em>Like I say, short story.<em>

_Maybe I write more if someone really wants that._

_Thanks for your reviews. _


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